Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About jjames7543 : Today, out of my extreme boredom, I am taking the liberty in updating this little "About me" box. I don't know what to say so stop creepin' around my profile.
P.S. my birthday is actually on the 6th, but FML doesn't love me enough to keep the right date when I change it. I know it's only one day off, but still...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, before a big client pitch I went into their office bathroom to quickly slick down hair. It had two identical automatic faucets, one 4 water an one 4 hand looool soap. Now hair is full of soap, an smells like industrial strength lavender. FML
Today, it was dad's brthday!! As a joke, I got him one of those big eraser that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opend it, trid to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left!! looool big fat FML
TODAY , BOYFRIEND FOUND OUT I HAVE OCD. WHEN I TOUCH SOMETHING WITH ONE HAND I HAVE TO TOUCH IT WITH THE OTHER OR I FREAK. AFTER I BRUSHED HIS FACE WITH THE BACK OF HAND HE TACKLED ME TO THE FLOOR , HELD ME DOWN , AN LAUGHED AT ME WHILE I PANICKED AN TRIED TO TOUCH HIM WITH OTHER HAND. FML
Today , after bringing mah dog back inside , he startedhining. I thought it was cuz he wanted his toys , but he was really trying to say , "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him , leaving a trail down the hallway.
Today... I spent the entre day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg... so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later... I found out it was cuz I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known 4 being unpopular... unwanted... ugly... and stupid. FML
Today, I found mah favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin!! I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny!! Apparently, mah younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate!! fat FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw looool the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Friday 27 March 2015