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jisaac09

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jisaac09
  • Town/Country : Louisa, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 December 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2770
  • Number of comments : 308
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jisaac09 : Yep....

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jisaac09's favorite FMLs

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9605) - you deserved it (38818)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (1496)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136742) - you deserved it (10970)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60699) - you deserved it (8173)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

#1153629
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64609) - you deserved it (3419)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
654 comments

I agree, your life sucks (548822) - you deserved it (35299)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

#618347
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75893) - you deserved it (14177)

On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (306877) - you deserved it (40914)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177603) - you deserved it (61394)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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