jisaac09

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Offline (the 03/24/2014 at 3:37am)

jisaac09

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3952
  • Number of comments : 319
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jisaac09 : Yep....

jisaac09's page activity

Visits<b>LordGiblett</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 9:42pm<b>llama01</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 11:15pm<b>CharterOak</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 6:03pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 11:01pm<b>AJXDGaming</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:46pm<b>roman11</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:06am<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 5:30am<b>hellobobismyname</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 4:39pm<b>heli110</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 7:17am<b>edenxero</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:22am<b>racello13</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:59am<b>bad_luck_blondie</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 5:53am<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 5:23am<b>PDSot</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 6:47am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:34pm<b>YourOpinionSucks</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 6:01pm<b>ExhaustedSausage</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:54pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 5:01am<b>rhiley</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:35pm<b>TheSquire</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:12am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 4:45am

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jisaac09's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

by bibou2324 / 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm / Work

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

by Nemesis2747 / 12/24/2009 at 1:09am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health