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jimmywithsalt

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jimmywithsalt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jimmywithsalt : Always extra salt.

jimmywithsalt's page activity

Visits<b>drshn</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 6:29pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:56am<b>NeatNit</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:39pm<b>sallee23444</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Fitzinator1995</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:46am<b>fuqmilife</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:43am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 6:44pm<b>myway4321</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 2:30pm

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jimmywithsalt's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39124) - you deserved it (5075) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43062) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38839) - you deserved it (4383)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (2865)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44999) - you deserved it (4693)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45062) - you deserved it (3912)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41856) - you deserved it (5761)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31706) - you deserved it (9546)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (5337)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47239) - you deserved it (4905)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42296) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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