jimmywithsalt

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jimmywithsalt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jimmywithsalt : Always extra salt.

jimmywithsalt's page activity

Visits<b>amberdea404</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 1:39pm<b>drshn</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 6:29pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 11:56am<b>NeatNit</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 4:39pm<b>sallee23444</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:47pm<b>Fitzinator1995</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 12:46am<b>fuqmilife</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 10:43am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 6:44pm<b>myway4321</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 2:30pm

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jimmywithsalt's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

by iet_Wyrda / 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm / Animals

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

by blargh / 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

by hoo flung pu / 10/03/2013 at 4:26am / United States / Animals

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2013 at 8:17am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

by BasketGhost / 10/02/2013 at 2:36am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

by SuperFail55 / 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous