About jimmywithsalt : Always extra salt.
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jimmywithsalt's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Utah) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
by blargh / 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Work
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
by hoo flung pu / 10/03/2013 at 4:26am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/02/2013 at 8:17am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by BasketGhost / 10/02/2013 at 2:36am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML
by SuperFail55 / 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…