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jimmydam182

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jimmydam182
  • Town/Country : jonesboro, USA biatch
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 March 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1057
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (1805)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (10443)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (23874)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

#12740190
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (47821)

On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (9660)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (9259)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML

#8920959
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (1566)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by justpeachy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6369) - you deserved it (23003)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6466) - you deserved it (14958)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17431) - you deserved it (1693)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5229) - you deserved it (40091)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

#8687121
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (1796)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States

Today, my mother who is 75 years old just told me and my sister that we are adopted. I'm 45 years old and my sister is 49. FML

#8654763
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (1317)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by cmendez - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy at work told me to "relax dude", all day long. FML

#8622338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12770) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12545) - you deserved it (7442)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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