jimluc02

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Offline (the 12/13/2015 at 4:40am)

jimluc02

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  • Number of visits : 1116
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jimluc02's FML badges

Judgmental

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jimluc02's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

by 102496 / 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm / Kids

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

by stoopidpoop / 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

by adad / 02/01/2010 at 9:34am / Animals

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

by argh / 02/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my friend was showing me pictures of her and her family. I told her to stop at one of the pictures. I started laughing my back off and said that she looked grotesque. She asked me if I was serious, I swore that I was. It was actually a picture of her sister, who died 1 year ago. FML

by Sam / 02/01/2010 at 12:45am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

by Jammy238 / 02/01/2010 at 12:27am / Animals

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

by Liam. / 02/01/2010 at 12:15am / Love

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

by Liam. / 02/01/2010 at 12:15am / Love

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

by bthms / 01/31/2010 at 9:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

by purple / 01/29/2010 at 6:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2010 at 6:00am / Norway (Telemark) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

by wishihadpockets / 01/28/2010 at 5:24am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

by Crap / 01/28/2010 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous