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jimluc02

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jimluc02

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jimluc02's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I've picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML

#8038027
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24690) - you deserved it (2646)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by wurtabang - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (3855)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19338) - you deserved it (11290)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11181) - you deserved it (32974)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

#7775302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28990) - you deserved it (4390)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by argh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend was showing me pictures of her and her family. I told her to stop at one of the pictures. I started laughing my back off and said that she looked grotesque. She asked me if I was serious, I swore that I was. It was actually a picture of her sister, who died 1 year ago. FML

#7768128
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7458) - you deserved it (45381)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:45am - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (3110)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11568) - you deserved it (45679)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11568) - you deserved it (45679)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25251) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25251) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27033) - you deserved it (2900)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

#7668183
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32172) - you deserved it (9347)

On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML

#7637275
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (25558)

On 01/28/2010 at 6:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Telemark)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8035) - you deserved it (37054)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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