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jimluc02's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML
by Flippy / 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by roflcopter / 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML
by dammit / 08/10/2010 at 1:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by Marie / 07/27/2010 at 3:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by uugnfg / 07/27/2010 at 12:38am / United States / Work
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
by anon / 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML
by notmuchfun / 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML
by 4fucksake / 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML
by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
by stuckathome / 03/11/2010 at 12:30am / United States / Animals
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…