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jimluc02

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jimluc02

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jimluc02's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12604) - you deserved it (26236)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

#12792587
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (5488)

On 08/28/2010 at 8:05pm - work - by Flippy - United States (Washington)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34550) - you deserved it (22865)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

#12760106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/26/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45745) - you deserved it (14572)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16385) - you deserved it (27766)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33442) - you deserved it (9947)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (3902)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31734) - you deserved it (4633)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

#12136195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11748) - you deserved it (25866)

On 07/27/2010 at 12:38am - work - by uugnfg - United States

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (3073)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (68144)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

#12006480
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42223) - you deserved it (4204)

On 07/20/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by notmuchfun - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

#11968011
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (4130)

On 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by 4fucksake (woman) - Ireland (Sligo)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36748) - you deserved it (2928)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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