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jimluc02

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jimluc02

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  • Number of visits : 352
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jimluc02's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61958) - you deserved it (4876)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40140) - you deserved it (3024)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14369) - you deserved it (38483)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

#13812395
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (10173)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

#13811167
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (4443)

On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (5265)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (2571)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55906) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (14813)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33901) - you deserved it (6262)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML

#12807084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (7317)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:45pm - love - by CreepedOut (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (6672)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

#12802001
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (2124)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (14147)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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