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jimluc02

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 9:52pm) | Search for a member

jimluc02

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jimluc02's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jimluc02's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (5571)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

#15251032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48073) - you deserved it (4307)

On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (5638)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight over household expenses. He's never had a job in his life, but this didn't stop him demanding that I get another full-time job to pay for video games and beer. FML

#15177236
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (51715)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm - money - by me - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (2479)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68516) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (5620)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML

#14394267
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (7407)

On 12/30/2010 at 10:06am - health - by depressednupset (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35083) - you deserved it (5515)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

#14391012
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (6748)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

#14386924
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you deserved it (8840)

On 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by ihateteenagers (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

#14357167
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (5250)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

#14127475
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (17931)

On 12/08/2010 at 1:26am - health - by whyme -



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