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jimluc02's favorite FMLs
by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love
by me / 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
by peedonme / 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML
by depressednupset / 12/30/2010 at 10:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
by ihateteenagers / 12/29/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML
by ppd_sucks / 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Work
- Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over… Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or… Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my…