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jimluc02

Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 7:45pm) | Search for a member

jimluc02

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jimluc02's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jimluc02's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35555) - you deserved it (3668)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (2693)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (7393)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (2835)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12262) - you deserved it (33955)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (1585)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (2003)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (2279)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (2020)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML

#19952455
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27362) - you deserved it (4299)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

#19951695
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (2084)

On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12222) - you deserved it (40187)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

#19941503
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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