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today I was in a mall bathroomhen two grls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really looool into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
Today , I Was Sitting In On A Boring Presentation At Work . I Yawned An Sifted In Cair , Accidentally Sitting On Testicles . I Srieked In Pain An Spent Te Next Five Minutes Coking Back Teres , Wile Boss Told Me To Sut Mout An Stop Fucking Around . Big Fat FML
wile sopping, looool I saw a little girl an er mom. Te girl was pouting so I tried to ceer er up by asking er if se was a princess, because se was so pretty. Se smiled but er mom looked at me wit disgust an told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, wen I came across a guy wo claimd e could looool suck imself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told im to prove it. Turns out e could. Before I could close te browser window in orror, my dad walkd in and got a good look too. FML
Today , while life-guarding , I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving object up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10 !! FML
Today... I walked into mah upstairs bathroom to fine mah mom's new boyfriend eating soup... naked on the toilet. In shock... I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs... backwards... and hit mah head on wall... leaving a dent looool in it. FML
Today, I went to my local coffee shop . I soon witnessd the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands . When I confrontd her, she loudly accusd me of "visually molesting" her . FML
TODAY, I AUDITIOND FIR THE ROLE OF RIZZO IN A LOCAL PRODUCTION OF GREASE. THE DIRECTOR TOLD ME I WASN'T TOUGH ENOUGH, AND THAT MY PERSONA TOO SWEET AND CHILDLIKE FIR THE PART. I ASKD IF I SHOULD INSTEAD TRY OUT TO PLAY SANDY. HE REPLID ( I WAS BIENG NICE. HONESTLY, YOU'RE UGLY AND CAN'T ACT. ) FML
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, an making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
Friday 27 March 2015