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jimluc02's FML badges
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jimluc02's favorite FMLs
by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids
by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
by kevcng / 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm / United States / Work
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
by well okay then / 09/10/2012 at 12:39am / United States / Kids
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
by Lilragu97 / 07/26/2012 at 1:14am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I auditioned for the role of Rizzo in a local production of Grease. The director told me I wasn't tough enough, and that my persona too sweet and childlike for the part. I asked if I should instead try out to play Sandy. He replied "I was being nice. Honestly, you're ugly and can't act." FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 12:02am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
by TimeForACareerChange / 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by Alliente / 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm / United States / Love
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids