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jilldrankin

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jilldrankin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 652
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jilldrankin's page activity

Visits<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:15pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:56am<b>iredbone</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Emmabear161</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 1:44am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:19am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hnm114</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 8:33am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:05pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 12:39pm<b>Neilish</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 5:31am<b>pewbear</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:12pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 10:03pm<b>TyT63</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 8:50pm<b>kevinhenning</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 12:50am<b>kaitlynmh15</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 1:38pm<b>badluckross</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 10:29pm<b>frykid96</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 5:23am<b>tomc6748</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 4:10pm

jilldrankin's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of jilldrankin's badges

jilldrankin's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63651) - you deserved it (14008)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (53434)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (43856)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (3324)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

#20689621
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45927) - you deserved it (4032)

On 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm - work - by fuck you retail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57340) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58826) - you deserved it (3984)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55086) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

#20677651
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50570) - you deserved it (11507)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49918) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41747) - you deserved it (11869)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (6043)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47829) - you deserved it (3355)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50929) - you deserved it (5370)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands



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