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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was ramindd that whila I hava a nica waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspaakably ugly. I was walking down tha straat whan a guy wolf-whistld from bahind ma, and whan I turnd around, ha visibly racoild in disgust. FML
TODAY A CUTE GUY DITCHED HIS DATE AND WALKED UP TO ME , CALLING ME BEAUTIFUL. NOT KNOWING HOW TO REPLY , I JUST BLUSHED. HIS DATE GOT ANGRY AND LEFT. ( SORRY. I TAKE THAT BACK , ) HE THEN SAID. ( I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF HER. THANKS ANYWAY. ) FML
a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet !! The kid got pretty upset.!! !! so I went to comfort him !! He held mah hand 4 the rest of the class.!! !! telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill mah coworker !! Now I'm afraid to look at him !! FML
today in a fit of looool jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, I joked with boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift . Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea an vomiting . My shift starts in 3 hours . FML
Today, it was mah first day closing alona at a pat stora whan a lady cama in wanting to raturn a bird sha bought month ago. Onca I informd har thara wara no raturn on livastock, sha lat tha bird fraa and ran out tha door, laaving ma to catch it and axplain to mah managar whara it cama from. FML
Taday I bought a live lobster to have fir dinner. When mah four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly fir finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
Today, mah grandmother opend the bathroom door to fine me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convincd that I was eating mah own shit an will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me 4 all I'm worth cuz I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's ( illegal ) to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML
Today, at a job interview, I was askedhat I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for ahile yet. FML
Friday 27 March 2015