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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2745
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jilldrankin's page activity

Visits<b>kkmwong</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 10:26am<b>wsdarrah</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 8:38pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:47pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:15pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:56am<b>iredbone</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Emmabear161</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 1:44am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 9:19am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:58pm<b>hnm114</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 8:33am<b>Live4funny</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:05pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 12:39pm<b>Neilish</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 5:31am<b>pewbear</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 11:12pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 10:03pm<b>TyT63</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 8:50pm<b>kevinhenning</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 12:50am

jilldrankin's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of jilldrankin's badges

jilldrankin's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

by bear food / 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

by vin_dex / 12/05/2013 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

by unproud / 11/15/2013 at 2:05am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Miscellaneous