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jiaqianyin

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jiaqianyin's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (5412)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70691) - you deserved it (15337)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126141) - you deserved it (5537)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113383) - you deserved it (15278)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74761) - you deserved it (4199)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84067) - you deserved it (4755)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70204) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166525) - you deserved it (8218)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181090) - you deserved it (18910)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76764) - you deserved it (3684)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85762) - you deserved it (7448)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68553) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70267) - you deserved it (10559)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68891) - you deserved it (5065)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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