jgriff79

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jgriff79

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 December 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1630
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jgriff79's page activity

Visits<b>Undecidedlime</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 11:51pm<b>momo3p</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:03am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:37pm<b>PingusTheDingus</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:24pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:47am<b>tiggerdoc</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:27am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 3:02pm<b>MaT30123</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:36am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:43pm<b>hekinokuroihi</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 7:10pm<b>IParkerBeasley</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 11:11pm<b>gymnastsophie12</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:28pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:41am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 8:44am<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 11:48pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 1:40am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:02pm

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jgriff79's favorite FMLs

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

by xerrika / 06/03/2014 at 7:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

by Galaxy / 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm / Belgium (Limburg) / Animals

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

by lukas / 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

by anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 12:02am / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

by heartbroken / 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm / Thailand (Nonthaburi) / Geek

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML