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jgoldsmith93

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jgoldsmith93

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About jgoldsmith93 : I love vag

jgoldsmith93's page activity

Visits<b>ninjaandreaa</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 3:38am

jgoldsmith93's FML badges

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jgoldsmith93's favorite FMLs

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (29434)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12198) - you deserved it (40413)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (8872)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (2845)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17565) - you deserved it (83007)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

#14998029
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45906) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48107) - you deserved it (3947) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

#14660867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (27674)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (20879)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39335) - you deserved it (14819)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

#6508757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (12052)

On 11/29/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by Nomoresandwish (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59140) - you deserved it (2798)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)



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