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jezuslovr

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jezuslovr

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  • Number of visits : 523
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jezuslovr's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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jezuslovr's favorite FMLs

TODAY, IN AN ELABORATE PLAN TO FINALLY MEET MAH CUTE NEIGHBOR, I CONVINCED MAH FRIENDLY MAILMAN TO SWITCH UP OUR MAIL SO I'D HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MEET HER. AFTER I DELIVERED HER MAIL, I WAITED 4 HER TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD MAH MAIL, BUT SHE NEVER DID. I EVEN SAW HER TAKE IT OUT OF HER MAIL BOX.

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (34069)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today... son volunteerd to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store... I noticd he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (7205)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, ma grlfriend an I took looool a nap on ma couc. Se used ma arm as a pillow, an everyting was pretty peaceful, until se moved over an practically dislocated ma soulder. My screams of pain woke er, wic was apparently an ( assole move ) on ma part. FML

#20446350
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into mah shop requesting alcohol,hich I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor.

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me cuz I'm too "high maintenance". And that's cuz I ask him to use condomshen we have sex, and I refuse to invite mah friends over fir threesomes. I don't knowhy I'm not actually glad we r broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at mah local gymhen I saw a girl I lyk a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (3779)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, after 3 yeres with mah dream grl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit an everything, by the park bench where we had our frst kiss. She cummed home tred and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4547)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

2day was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four yeres ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (2023)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today... I was at a restaurant with mah boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine... and when the bill cummd he drunkenly yelld at the waiter... claiming it should be free... because he's in the military "fighting fir your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (3850)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friand and I wara trying out a sita onhich you talk to strangar using a mic and wabcam. Wa cama acros a cuta guy,ho said to my friand, ( Tall tha fat guy to mova. ) Ha was rafarring to ma. I'm a girl. maga FML

Today, I startd charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognizd my iPhone as an MP3 player an startd playing the audio from the porn video I watchd before we left. Everybody hered. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (39069)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Taday my boyfriend of four years broke up wit me by writing on my batroom mrror in Sarpie . Wat did e write? ( Hi, I'm Emily . I'm fat, ugly, an now single . ) FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51594) - you deserved it (4559)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, during looool the countdown to midnight, I looked fir mah girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was ( only a friend. ) FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I auditioned fir a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain an as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)



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