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jewelzgalore

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jewelzgalore

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18933
  • Number of comments : 292
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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jewelzgalore's page activity

Visits<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 12:28am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:09am<b>DS1</b> - the 03/24/2010 at 3:00am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 1:32pm<b>katquiggs</b> - the 09/14/2009 at 9:51pm<b>heatherh0rror</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 8:38pm<b>fyourlife33</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 3:25pm<b>hypergeezer</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 11:34am<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 4:55pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 6:09pm<b>ask62589</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 10:02am<b>Jamescool</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 9:37am<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 4:10pm<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 1:52am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 12:26am<b>jmud</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 12:16am<b>beth12</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 11:02pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 10:07pm

jewelzgalore's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jewelzgalore's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59286) - you deserved it (15284)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59559) - you deserved it (9542)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

#3919159
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8127) - you deserved it (105754)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:14am - love - by embarrassed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (60806)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

#3812177
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (65240)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (18705)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (55390)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60342) - you deserved it (7209)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66286) - you deserved it (4945)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (21860)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15661) - you deserved it (49993)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

#3022587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53581) - you deserved it (2542)

On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94860) - you deserved it (20018)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (44990)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10757) - you deserved it (54469)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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