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jewels27's favorite FMLs
Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm / United States / Health
by DM / 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by nerdgirlmickey / 03/03/2013 at 11:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Ihatemylife / 03/03/2013 at 7:17am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML
by oops / 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by OhNo / 03/02/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom (Ards) / Health
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
by Neversleepingthereagain / 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…