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jewels27

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jewels27

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 1364
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jewels27's page activity

Visits<b>BlakeMHS</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:06am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:43pm<b>Tempest559</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 8:31pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:09pm<b>bethers_</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 3:35pm<b>renaee</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 5:13pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 6:03am<b>luebbe</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 12:15am<b>nela25</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:17am

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jewels27's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53431) - you deserved it (8649)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3543)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56260) - you deserved it (5299)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53177) - you deserved it (10231)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15675) - you deserved it (35366)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66053) - you deserved it (4037)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59864) - you deserved it (10748)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49522) - you deserved it (8002)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47383) - you deserved it (4883)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

#20581665
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (5133)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (5652)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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