This member hasn't filled in their description.
jewels27's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
jewels27's favorite FMLs
by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
by cowgirl927 / 04/18/2013 at 7:26am / United States / Kids
by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous
by Aaronator25 / 04/17/2013 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
by Anonymous / 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (California) / Health
by Mimi / 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm / United States (California) / Kids
by twinArmageddon2 / 04/15/2013 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by geeshock1987 / 04/15/2013 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lonely / 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
by iwassoclose / 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
by lonelygirl / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…