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jewels27's favorite FMLs
by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML
by Archie / 01/07/2010 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Maryland) / Health
by Ellowise / 12/24/2009 at 5:06am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
by boogerbrain / 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML
by w0rstdayever / 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML
by Earths_Venus / 11/19/2009 at 5:31pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Eimii / 10/05/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML
by explodingpupppet / 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me… Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell… Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar…