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jewels27's favorite FMLs
Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML
by nolife / 11/05/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Kids
by unsatisfying / 10/28/2010 at 1:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
by coyote / 09/02/2010 at 3:25am / Japan / Health
Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2010 at 10:41am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
Today, my mother found out that I'm sexually active. She wants me to tell my father. I'm seventeen, and my father still has trouble grasping the fact that I carry a purse, because it means I'm "growing up." This should be fun. FML
by sarskii / 08/16/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was training a new person. The job included driving around the city all day, during which she decided to hang her head out the window and bark like a dog. I spent an 8 hour shift with her. FML
by XxDanno316xX / 08/08/2010 at 10:52am / United States / Work
by LaneyyenaL / 07/19/2010 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by ac13 / 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by sarahfromthesouth / 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by drew_ar85 / 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by bystander / 02/07/2010 at 10:37am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Bacular / 02/06/2010 at 4:29am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.… Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked… Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I…