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jewels27's favorite FMLs
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by horriblegf / 02/26/2011 at 7:18am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML
by magoo16 / 02/21/2011 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by cllutz / 02/06/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by lisacasabonita / 11/12/2010 at 11:31am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
by pottyhostage / 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed.… Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her… Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We…