This member hasn't filled in their description.
jewels27's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
jewels27's favorite FMLs
Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by horriblegf / 02/26/2011 at 7:18am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML
by magoo16 / 02/21/2011 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by cllutz / 02/06/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 4:03am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by lisacasabonita / 11/12/2010 at 11:31am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML
by pottyhostage / 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked…