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jewels27's favorite FMLs
by Brittany / 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm / United States / Love
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by brunetteshavemorefun / 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML
by joyness / 12/20/2012 at 9:49am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
by daughterinlaw / 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by crazy mother in law / 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm / Intimacy
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by CircusSea / 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm / Puerto Rico / Work
by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, me and my friend were having a playful arguement, when he said that my mother was stupid for… Today, my sister that I haven't seen in years told me she has a bad meth addiction. I just sent her… Today, I was crossing a street with my dog, trying to both concentrate on a car comming towards us…