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jewels27's favorite FMLs
by Roxy19 / 01/22/2013 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Love
by sarah6786 / 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm / Australia / Work
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love
Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML
by sophietr8 / 01/19/2013 at 3:38pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous
by walkingdictionary / 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML
by Mizzaroo / 01/17/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
by Kallian / 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
by veggieluver / 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…