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Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (12117)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (2064)
On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26247) - you deserved it (3983)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (2544)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (1730)
On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (1819)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21247) - you deserved it (5066)
On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (30221)
On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (1952)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (7515)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (1741)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by wilks311 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (14160)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia
Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (2887)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46415) - you deserved it (1824)
On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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