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jewels27

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jewels27

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  • Title : Miss
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  • Number of visits : 1084
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jewels27's page activity

Visits<b>BlakeMHS</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:06am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 1:43pm<b>Tempest559</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 8:31pm<b>LukeE45</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:09pm<b>bethers_</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 3:35pm<b>renaee</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 5:13pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 6:03am<b>luebbe</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 12:15am<b>nela25</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 2:17am

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jewels27's favorite FMLs

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (4953)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41064) - you deserved it (8064)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44265) - you deserved it (8698)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60873) - you deserved it (13802)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66709) - you deserved it (9220)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55020) - you deserved it (64139)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

#20699444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43860) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44437) - you deserved it (8452)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40968) - you deserved it (2576)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (2987)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46451) - you deserved it (3189)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML



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