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jetanthony

Offline (the 12/23/2015 at 7:02pm) | Search for a member

jetanthony

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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jetanthony's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of jetanthony's badges

jetanthony's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

#21498905
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (2586)

On 12/01/2015 at 11:39am - misc - by ygma - United States (Texas)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, I was roused from my peaceful slumber by the sound of evil laughter coming from my closet. It was my old Furby, with dead batteries, that I could have sworn I got rid of several years ago. FML

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

#21496064
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (2292)

On 11/23/2015 at 10:23pm - kids - by sydcaller618 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

#21485404
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (1631)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (2451)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML

#21469489
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (5065)

On 09/17/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by mother teresa was a cunt (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

#21443212
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12965) - you deserved it (39494)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25592) - you deserved it (12377)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (4374)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32459) - you deserved it (3395)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29541) - you deserved it (10978)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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