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jesustitts

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jesustitts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 792
  • Number of comments : 267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jesustitts : I am a mother of an awesome little boy. He was born on January 4th of 2013. I got pregnant and gave birth at 19. I use this site to laugh and have fun.

jesustitts's page activity

Visits<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:42am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:48pm<b>DaveBro6</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:51am<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:48am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:34am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:56am<b>littleteapot</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Krbsmommy</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:00am<b>Plumshot</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:43pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:46pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 2:24am<b>jjj888</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:48pm<b>MoosieHD</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 3:19am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 5:48pm<b>MasterNinja20</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 6:47am<b>mtdalrymple25</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:44pm<b>woosah</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:25am<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:55am

jesustitts's FML badges

Perfectionist

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of jesustitts's badges

jesustitts's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54119) - you deserved it (4799)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59912) - you deserved it (5136)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61462) - you deserved it (14118)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17263) - you deserved it (54928)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51178) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (5589)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48163) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43657) - you deserved it (4810)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61435) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46049) - you deserved it (3000)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55178) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

#20116490
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (7771)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia



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