Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jesusjammies

Search for a member

jesusjammies

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 August 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 947
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jesusjammies's page activity

Visits<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:38am<b>jonny1ton</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:54pm<b>hare</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:31am<b>Sinlessgore</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 5:43pm<b>k4m1k4z3</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 4:14am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:12pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 09/10/2010 at 9:35pm<b>bjm94</b> - the 09/09/2010 at 2:19am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 10:12pm<b>281go</b> - the 07/22/2010 at 12:10am<b>alisonyankee</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 2:15pm<b>knypny</b> - the 07/11/2010 at 7:40pm<b>FerrariCake</b> - the 07/03/2010 at 3:46pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/21/2010 at 1:41am<b>UNCmike</b> - the 05/31/2010 at 2:20pm<b>Link_Asriel</b> - the 05/30/2010 at 12:41am<b>sw33th3art</b> - the 05/29/2010 at 8:13pm<b>abisnail90</b> - the 05/23/2010 at 9:22am

jesusjammies's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jesusjammies's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (4892)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (4892)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you deserved it (34077)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105862) - you deserved it (12417)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105862) - you deserved it (12417)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (32877)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (32877)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (32877)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (11820)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (11820)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (27419)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8840) - you deserved it (57232)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (10329)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

#5294180
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6798) - you deserved it (50590)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Jennnn (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: