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jesuismelogee's favorite FMLs
by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML
by yee-whore / 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
by jayswizzle89 / 07/29/2014 at 3:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML
by Alex / 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML
by wrecked / 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm / United States / Love
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/07/2014 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
- Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was… Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so… Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn…