About jesterinperil : I'm a simple man. I play saxophone, video games, and enjoy building computers. I come on here to feel better about myself. I hope you have a nice day, stranger.
jesterinperil's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
jesterinperil's favorite FMLs
Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML
by JJ / 03/21/2016 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy
Today, I got nearly kicked out of the room I rent because I refuse to close my curtains at night. Apparently, my landlady thinks it doesn't look nice when people pass by and look. My room is on the third floor and I just want to see the stars. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2015 at 4:34pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by FranchezDeVista / 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by ThatOneChick856 / 07/10/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
by mademoiselle meurtre / 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by failuretolaunch2 / 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML
by natashamilan / 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Fuck / 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by need sleep / 02/25/2015 at 11:53am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by cat-astrophic / 02/25/2015 at 10:44am / United Kingdom / Animals
by mags89 / 02/25/2015 at 9:18am / United States / Work
Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for 'profiting from someone else's misfortune'. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2015 at 6:51am / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 02/25/2015 at 5:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML
by ruthlessrobin / 02/25/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…