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jesss127

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jesss127

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 584
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Visits<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 9:16am<b>Pyroantics2388</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 10:02am<b>Kingbreezy04</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 2:55pm<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 3:19am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:54am<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 5:47pm<b>boredphil</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 3:14am

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jesss127's favorite FMLs

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (11347)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49758) - you deserved it (4395)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32894) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51267) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45345) - you deserved it (2843)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (16246)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML

#20428566
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (3924)

On 12/28/2012 at 8:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (10719)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (3876)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

#20427288
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (5069)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)



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