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jesss127's favorite FMLs
by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML
by Sarah / 01/26/2013 at 12:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2013 at 2:17am / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
by What? / 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Australia / Animals
Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML
by SonofDonald / 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2013 at 3:27am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Money
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by sarah6786 / 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
- Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…