Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessiekush

Search for a member

jessiekush

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 595
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessiekush : im jessica. :P

bands i like:
autopsy, brokencyde, we came as romans
five finger death punch, escape the fate, a day to remember
hollywood undead, blood on the dance floor, blink 182
msi, devil wears prada, eminem, HIM
mcr, as i lay dying , a skylit drive, emmure
and morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee...
haha. :P.

jessiekush's page activity

Visits<b>RogueX7</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 2:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:24pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/05/2011 at 6:09pm<b>WhenForeverDies</b> - the 05/11/2011 at 5:11pm<b>SteelMan</b> - the 04/10/2011 at 10:35am

jessiekush's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessiekush's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend telling me he still likes me and might love me too. Later I asked him if he really meant it and his response was "I don't know. I was high." FML

#16523856
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34643) - you deserved it (4863)

On 06/06/2011 at 1:22am - love - by K123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (2761)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

#16367769
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (7014)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:26am - misc - by moe - United States

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

#16365473
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (2841)

On 05/26/2011 at 11:05pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

#16359968
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7687) - you deserved it (59866)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm - misc - by taydean - United States (Colorado)

Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML

#16077994
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23035) - you deserved it (9398)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by Cheerieful - United States

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41128) - you deserved it (6827)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14823) - you deserved it (41388)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (50969)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (3160)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44449) - you deserved it (6716)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to tell my boyfriend happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after it sent, I realized the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

#15766023
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10185) - you deserved it (50729)

On 04/13/2011 at 2:15am - love - by Zebracat - United States

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (36436)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

#15755743
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (20848)

On 04/12/2011 at 1:45pm - misc - by scottskidee - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

#15753911
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (11908)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:19am - kids - by JT (man) - Canada (Alberta)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: