jessicircle

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jessicircle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2911
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About jessicircle : The name's Jess

I love reading FMLs, and I've been doing so for a few years.

I am a fan of Rune Factory/Harvest Moon, Star Wars, Assassin's Creed, Pokemon, Eureka, Golden Sun, Animal Crossing, and more.

My favorite bands are Nightwish and Epica :)

I hope to become a botanist, and I love plants.

jessicircle's page activity

Visits<b>DoomedGemini</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:50am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:00am<b>that_one_girl96</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Redthetrainer</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:24pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 6:01am<b>MusicLover99</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 3:49am<b>Moore12</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:53pm<b>Jiplo</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:02pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:15pm<b>danis</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 1:58pm<b>Lykaios_Avery</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 12:32pm<b>linyah</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:28am<b>Smeelover27</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:24am<b>frogfails</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:19am<b>bigboss_dog</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 11:27am

jessicircle's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of jessicircle's badges

jessicircle's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

by howaboutno / 03/14/2013 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

by cunts, cunts everywhere / 03/11/2013 at 7:57am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

by DontGetSlapped / 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

by Scarlett / 02/16/2013 at 1:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

by dadsadipshit / 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous