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jessicabitestoo

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jessicabitestoo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1264
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessicabitestoo : i'm jessica. i'm eighteen. i'm a happy person most of the time. i'm easy to get along with. i love to make people laugh. i like to meet new people. so if you want to talk, don't be shy. :)

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Visits<b>sarah2144</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 12:19pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 3:20am<b>Razzle_Dazzle_5</b> - the 07/31/2012 at 3:10pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 04/13/2012 at 7:49pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 02/27/2012 at 10:09pm

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jessicabitestoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23101) - you deserved it (2705)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (3567)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36244) - you deserved it (3979)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (3394)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (12237)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

#18810141
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (2266)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by ohlordhelpmenow (woman) - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65240) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107774) - you deserved it (7603)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99043) - you deserved it (5411)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164826) - you deserved it (8193)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113006) - you deserved it (8494)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124565) - you deserved it (4586)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87603) - you deserved it (9949)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94689) - you deserved it (19987)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78742) - you deserved it (22077)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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