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jessicabitestoo

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jessicabitestoo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessicabitestoo : i'm jessica. i'm eighteen. i'm a happy person most of the time. i'm easy to get along with. i love to make people laugh. i like to meet new people. so if you want to talk, don't be shy. :)

jessicabitestoo's page activity

Visits<b>sarah2144</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 12:19pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 3:20am<b>Razzle_Dazzle_5</b> - the 07/31/2012 at 3:10pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 04/13/2012 at 7:49pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 02/27/2012 at 10:09pm

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jessicabitestoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (23159)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (23159)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

#19315515
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (12712)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

#19301577
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (2600)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (10129)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21016) - you deserved it (11882)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35293) - you deserved it (2661)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (5852)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10162) - you deserved it (31504)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (12693)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (3955)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States



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