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jessicabitestoo

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jessicabitestoo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1501
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessicabitestoo : i'm jessica. i'm eighteen. i'm a happy person most of the time. i'm easy to get along with. i love to make people laugh. i like to meet new people. so if you want to talk, don't be shy. :)

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jessicabitestoo's favorite FMLs

Today, me an my boyfriend cummed back to my looool house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101621) - you deserved it (45847)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to introduce ma girlfriend to ma parent by telling tem tat we were gonna ave a very special guest 4 dinner. Wile ma mom was preparing te meal se asked, "Wat does e like?" I'm straigt. My parent tougt different. FML

#407714
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84618) - you deserved it (6993)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 month saying that I was in the mood, an that I was in bed, an naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137904) - you deserved it (37030)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , I cummd home a day after my birthday , and was greetd by my motherho told me ( oh I have birthday present fir you. ) She explaind that she and my father went on a hike , and handd me my present. I got a F*ing stick fir my birthday. fat FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81055) - you deserved it (5699)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, Mah Cat Was In The Bathroom With Me. I Was Getting Undressd To Get Into The Shower. My Cat Lookd At Me After I'd Undressd And Then Threw Up All Over The Rug. FML

#287682
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136184) - you deserved it (20311)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I was at work an a very obese woman cummed in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off an wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto mah lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101922) - you deserved it (6349)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to mah mom. During the conversation she looool asked me, "Does he take his leg off when u guys r having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat u with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237996) - you deserved it (31203)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, My Guy Friend And I Were In His Dorm Room Watching A Movie When He Started Kissing Me. Thing Heated Up So We Moved Thing Over To His Bed. He Was On Me When A Hand Shoot Down From His Top Bunk. His Roommate Had Been Up There The Whole Time And He Wanted A High-five. So They High-fived. FML

#125499
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82586) - you deserved it (20505)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm playing basketball with mah little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he hered that word, he respondd with "Daddy calls you that when you're around." FML

#112335
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (145258) - you deserved it (11881)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

TODAY, I ARRIVED AT MY PARENTS HOUSE FOR DINNER. WHEN I GOT THERE, I NOTICED THAT THEY HAD GAY PRIDE FLAGS HANGING FROM THE PORCH, AN GAY RIGHTS BUMPER STICKERS PLASTERED TO THEIR CARS. THERE WAS ALSO A HUGE "WE ACCEPT YOU, NICK" BANNER HANGING FROM THE GARAGE. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84652) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

yesterday my 5 year old nephew showd me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I looool smild an said, ( Wow! Now, how about some blue martians! ) He lookd at me an replid, ( How about some blue shut the fuck up?! ) FML

#56665
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241573) - you deserved it (82260)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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