jessicabitestoo

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jessicabitestoo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2388
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessicabitestoo : i'm jessica. i'm eighteen. i'm a happy person most of the time. i'm easy to get along with. i love to make people laugh. i like to meet new people. so if you want to talk, don't be shy. :)

jessicabitestoo's page activity

Visits<b>sarah2144</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 12:19pm<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 3:20am<b>Razzle_Dazzle_5</b> - the 07/31/2012 at 3:10pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 04/13/2012 at 7:49pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 02/27/2012 at 10:09pm

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jessicabitestoo's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

by MIND BLOWING / 10/20/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

by oppafucktardstyle / 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids