jessicaaababy

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jessicaaababy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2374
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jessicaaababy : :) fuck the haters

jessicaaababy's page activity

Visits<b>jedifool3</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:43pm<b>zevida</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:49pm<b>Frowny</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 11:36pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Farishta</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:08am<b>Anikaaaaa</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 4:25pm<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:47am<b>selinvyvr</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:40am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:08pm<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 12:46pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:48am<b>tayy30</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Nobodycares123</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:24am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:08pm<b>SickNez</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 7:46am<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:20pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 1:57am

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jessicaaababy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

by explainer / 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

by The fat and the ugly / 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

by ifeeldirty / 10/27/2011 at 8:22am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

by apparentlyunsexy / 10/27/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

by lanikai610 / 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm / United States / Health

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in McDonalds with some friends. When I got up to the register to order, the guy there appeared startled by me, and said, 'Whoa, you're really pretty.' No one has ever said anything like that to me before. When I told my friends, they laughed and said, 'Wow. He must have been drunk.' FML

by ugly / 11/14/2010 at 2:39am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

by tuppu / 11/03/2010 at 10:35am / Finland / Intimacy