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jessica0987

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jessica0987

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 October 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 726
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jessica0987 : i am 19.
and im a girl
and im fun =]

jessica0987's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jessica0987's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50901) - you deserved it (8278)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128552) - you deserved it (6815)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

#202745
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (43787)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by Fantastic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62564) - you deserved it (6431)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I re-assured her that I would not throw a party. She replied "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that." FML

#98981
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (3807)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by stinker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

#98972
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (68388)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML

#98933
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54169) - you deserved it (3777)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:15pm - health - by Vince (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51245) - you deserved it (8167)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39268) - you deserved it (12481)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39431) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (3102)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

#45880
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39650) - you deserved it (2664)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9718) - you deserved it (37837)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)



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