About jessesgirl14 : I don't like when people end their sentence with a question mark. Are you really not sure of the statement you just made?! I also hate when people tawk liik disss... Wut da hell zzz wrong wit yhu?! Use proper spelling, you fucktards!!
I have a sarcastic sense of humor. You can often find it in the gutter ;)
Messaging me won't get you far, I'm on this site through my phone...
Have an awesome day
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (1759)
On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (2292)
On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39354) - you deserved it (10318)
On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (9529)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (127818)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199343) - you deserved it (58840)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461185) - you deserved it (572957)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461185) - you deserved it (572957)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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