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jessesgirl14

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jessesgirl14
  • Town/Country : somewhere out there, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessesgirl14 : I don't like when people end their sentence with a question mark. Are you really not sure of the statement you just made?! I also hate when people tawk liik disss... Wut da hell zzz wrong wit yhu?! Use proper spelling, you fucktards!!
I have a sarcastic sense of humor. You can often find it in the gutter ;)
Messaging me won't get you far, I'm on this site through my phone...
Have an awesome day

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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jessesgirl14's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12504) - you deserved it (29421)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (20946)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (4054)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8718) - you deserved it (30703)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40452) - you deserved it (6021)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (4857)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

#18869221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (2586)

On 01/21/2012 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we received our honeymoon itinerary. Our travel agent booked our flight to Punta Cana correctly. Too bad she booked us a hotel in Orlando, Florida. FML

#18851649
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (1548)

On 01/19/2012 at 6:44am - misc - by handymandy - United States

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28285) - you deserved it (10821)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25612) - you deserved it (5042)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (31296)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

#18604441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (3358)

On 12/25/2011 at 2:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16311) - you deserved it (16895)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45054) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (42220)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon



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