jessesgirl14

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jessesgirl14

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1716
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessesgirl14 : I don't like when people end their sentence with a question mark. Are you really not sure of the statement you just made?! I also hate when people tawk liik disss... Wut da hell zzz wrong wit yhu?! Use proper spelling, you fucktards!!
I have a sarcastic sense of humor. You can often find it in the gutter ;)
Messaging me won't get you far, I'm on this site through my phone...
Have an awesome day

jessesgirl14's page activity

Visits<b>kupokid94</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 5:49pm<b>kenyrabit</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 9:05am<b>Risea</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Coland</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 3:27pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:10am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 2:29am<b>SAspring</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:58am<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:27pm<b>skye_tbfh</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:29am<b>GrymReefer420</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:06pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:51am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 12:37pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:06am<b>paolino</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 7:57am<b>Erin2009</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:02pm<b>Loveyou6611</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:15am

Fucked!<b>skye_tbfh</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:29am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:40pm

jessesgirl14's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of jessesgirl14's badges

jessesgirl14's favorite FMLs

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

by me / 04/24/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2014 at 1:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love