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jessesgirl14

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jessesgirl14

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1003
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About jessesgirl14 : I don't like when people end their sentence with a question mark. Are you really not sure of the statement you just made?! I also hate when people tawk liik disss... Wut da hell zzz wrong wit yhu?! Use proper spelling, you fucktards!!
I have a sarcastic sense of humor. You can often find it in the gutter ;)
Messaging me won't get you far, I'm on this site through my phone...
Have an awesome day

jessesgirl14's page activity

Visits<b>sheshellbent</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:12pm<b>braver7315</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:32am<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:11pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 12:39pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 9:29am<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:19am<b>Carrotop12</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:25am<b>kaitlennnn</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 5:57am<b>TH3PRIC3I5RIGHT</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:39pm<b>aqward_turtle</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:21am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 10:38am<b>HanselF</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:44pm<b>chickaslimshady</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:06am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 12:19am<b>trex83</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 7:01am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 7:46pm<b>troutbum</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 1:19am<b>wGx14</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:21pm

jessesgirl14's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of jessesgirl14's badges

jessesgirl14's favorite FMLs

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (8136)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52923) - you deserved it (5166)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49037) - you deserved it (13674)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (7660)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52354) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (6406)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (16894)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41151) - you deserved it (4748)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55795) - you deserved it (7037)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50226) - you deserved it (7421)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38964) - you deserved it (3808)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51691) - you deserved it (11167)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (9375)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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