jessamy_brit

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jessamy_brit

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jessamy_brit : I'm Jessamy.

jessamy_brit's page activity

Visits<b>jrp</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 10:36am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 12:47am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 10:37am<b>HoboRain</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:25am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:12pm<b>ronenlior</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:36pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:22pm<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 8:45am<b>Laconic01</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 7:11am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 5:45pm<b>JACKxRAWR</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 6:37pm<b>WDLfootball</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 3:04am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 6:44pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:16pm<b>flavboarder</b> - the 08/02/2011 at 1:28am<b>NomiKat</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 9:18pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 12:07am<b>perdix</b> - the 07/13/2011 at 10:49pm

jessamy_brit's FML badges

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jessamy_brit's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML

by ivannooze / 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

by Anonanon / 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML

by me / 07/12/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

by photo grunt / 07/07/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Work