About jessamy_brit : I'm Jessamy.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)
Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (2315)
On 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm - health - by ivannooze - United States
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3986)
On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11498) - you deserved it (46624)
On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35960) - you deserved it (2701)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (1967)
On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105317) - you deserved it (5807)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (39260)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (10758)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Anonanon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (3497)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by ManInPain (man) - United States
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30338) - you deserved it (7033)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (7741)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:20am - love - by me - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10276) - you deserved it (38876)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14777) - you deserved it (69223)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (1766)
On 07/07/2011 at 2:23am - work - by photo grunt - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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