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jessamy_brit

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jessamy_brit
  • Town/Country : Why Should You Know., United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 March 1997 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 433
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jessamy_brit : I'm Jessamy.

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jessamy_brit's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML

#17300096
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (2481)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm - health - by ivannooze - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (5071)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13846) - you deserved it (61781)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33990) - you deserved it (1993)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117116) - you deserved it (5933)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17687) - you deserved it (48495)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

#17080368
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (11498)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Anonanon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

#17080145
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31955) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by ManInPain (man) - United States

Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

#17074594
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33110) - you deserved it (8770)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by _Emilyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML

#17074244
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (9345)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:20am - love - by me - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10977) - you deserved it (47519)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (86893)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

#17010125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (2278)

On 07/07/2011 at 2:23am - work - by photo grunt - United States (Indiana)



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