About jessamy_brit : I'm Jessamy.
About jessamy_brit : I'm Jessamy.
jessamy_brit's FML badges
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
jessamy_brit's favorite FMLs
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by ivannooze / 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm / United States / Health
by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy
by anon / 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by 44haley44 / 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
by Anonanon / 07/12/2011 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
by me / 07/12/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids
by photo grunt / 07/07/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Indiana) / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…