Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessal

Online | Search for a member

jessal

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4969
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>watermelon15</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 10:41am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 7:02am<b>platypus546</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 1:50pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:01am<b>FEATHDUCK</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 4:45pm<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 5:22pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:51am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:52am<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:57pm<b>15Erik</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:54pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:21pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:31pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:02pm<b>xmalachix</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:35am

Fucked!<b>15Erik</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:52am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:49pm<b>troydeluca</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:20pm

jessal's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of jessal's badges

jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59355) - you deserved it (68184)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69027) - you deserved it (6366)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72087) - you deserved it (10738)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69277) - you deserved it (8430)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69880) - you deserved it (4541)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65127) - you deserved it (21342)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44751) - you deserved it (4045)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (59780)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36738) - you deserved it (4809)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47436) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35700) - you deserved it (2977) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41869) - you deserved it (9791)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60225) - you deserved it (4884) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: