Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jessal

Online | Search for a member

jessal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 678
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>umerin</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 11:15am<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:17am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:41pm<b>aamir251</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:59pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:04am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:40am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:37am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:39am<b>AGB10</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:16am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:48pm<b>moksha</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:52am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:59am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:44pm<b>elly94</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:31am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:12pm

jessal's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of jessal's badges

jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (5502)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17737) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (2376)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (2320)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9012) - you deserved it (32830)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6984) - you deserved it (46598)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5883) - you deserved it (50891)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7620) - you deserved it (23781)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (3323)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

#20103918
102 comments

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (1919)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (1894)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (3014)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: