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jessal

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jessal

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3680
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:54pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:21pm<b>WOTAN1488</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:31pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:11pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:02pm<b>xmalachix</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:27am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:23pm<b>KingBobtheThird</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:12pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:41pm<b>AddictGamer</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:47pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 11:10pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:47pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:57am

Fucked!<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:21am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:35am<b>TheIronFez</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 7:49pm<b>troydeluca</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 9:20pm

jessal's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Picture this FML

You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

See all of jessal's badges

jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46779) - you deserved it (2782)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47031) - you deserved it (6544)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59206) - you deserved it (3546)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (24633)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42712) - you deserved it (5876)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43323) - you deserved it (5487)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34348) - you deserved it (4152)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54594) - you deserved it (2645)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States



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  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

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