About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.
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jessal's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML
by Anon / 12/18/2013 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a job after two years of searching. I excitedly called my best friend to tell her the good news. She decided break her own news about how she quit yet another good paying job and found an even better one within hours. FML
by MzZombicidal / 12/17/2013 at 12:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML
by nightmarestonite / 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm / Croatia (Licko-Senjska) / Health
Today, while on my way to work, an elderly woman complimented me on my breast cancer scarf. I explained that my grandmother made one for all her female grandchildren before passing away two years ago. The woman then went psycho and almost strangled me in an attempt to steal it. FML
by Whackgourd / 12/11/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by eer004 / 12/07/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by butterfingers / 12/06/2013 at 2:08am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML
by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML
by Fortunato_18 / 12/02/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (Texas) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…