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jessal

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jessal

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 896
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About jessal : I'm easy going and fun. If you want to know more then message me.

jessal's page activity

Visits<b>ZY1431</b> - yesterday at 1:12pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - yesterday at 2:23am<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:10am<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 11:43pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 10:50pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:07pm<b>jdhebert</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 5:44pm<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:17am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:41pm<b>aamir251</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:59pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:04am<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:40am<b>captaininouille</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:37am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:39am<b>AGB10</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:16am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:48pm

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jessal's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to make what I thought was a pretzel recipe. I ended up eating cooked, egg-coated play dough. Literally, homemade Play-Doh. FML

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42810) - you deserved it (7982)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, I went to the bathroom on the way to class. After washing my hands, I couldn't figure out how to turn off the water. I finally resorted to asking a professor for help. She turned it off, looked me in the eyes and said, "Please don't tell me you're here on a scholarship." FML

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (32269)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62084) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, after being forced to take my little sister trick-or-treating, we had the cops called on us twice. She thought it would be funny to tell all the people giving out candy that I'd been following her around and that she had no idea who I was, and that she was scared of me. FML

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML



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  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

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